I talked to an American friend the other day and the conversation turned to relationships. He has lived full time in the Philippines for more than a decade. He had several sad stories to share, as well as a number of good stories.
My friend is still single but he has not given up, however, he is smarter now then he was even 5 years ago. Marriage is no longer a priority in his life. He said he is not a playboy but he decided he liked the freedom to just date different women.
Internet chat sites, single bars, street girls and girlie bars but no overall longer term positive results. He finally realized that a key to success in any of those venues is very slim.
Grifters and Con Artists
An American Expat posted 3 or 4 times about meeting local women on the internet in Cebu, inviting them over to his house and then having money and possessions stolen not long afterward. It is risky behavior. There is no honor among grifters, con artists or scammers and they are found in every country around the round world! A new victim is only the click of the computer keyboard away!
I was asked one time…which city is the best to meet a good wife? I did not have an answer of an actual city. I know guys who are happily married to Filipinas from Luzon, the Visayas and Mindanao. I also know guys who were taken to the cleaners by women from the same Regions. I added that a younger lady from a Provincial Area, if they are hell bent on a 20 something year old in a relationship, may raise the odds of a successful relationship but even that is not a guarantee. Personally, I think a 30 or more age gap in a relationship is bad news for both parties, more times than not!
There is no way a man or a woman can really get to know their soon to be spouse during a short term whirlwind relationship of a few weeks. Both sides make the mistake of jumping into the ring of fire too soon. They seem to think if they do not jump in now, there may not be another chance for them. Once the knot is tied in the Philippines, it is not EZ to untie that knot!
I have been asked about my relationship with my wife of 14 years. I am a man, she is a women. We met in Hong Kong, we dated, we maintained a non-live in relationship in two different locations in Hong Kong/China for 20 months before we married. We knew each other very well. We were both working as professionals in our career.
People can front for a few weeks and for a few months, but their true self comes out after a year, most often before 6 months! Many times within a few months.
Why the Philippines?
Many foreigners have heard that many of the fine women in the Philippines are Christian, they are Conservative, they are family oriented, they are very friendly & outgoing, they are fun loving, they like to sing, many like to dance, many know how to have wholesome fun and most all speak English. It is no secret that women in the Philippines have won more Beauty Competitions than any other country! They possess Beauty, both outward and inward. This characteristic is not EZ finding in 2017 within just any location in the world today.
Sadly, there are foreigners who are also Grifters and they come to the Philippines with one purpose. To exploit the Beauty of the Country. All foreigners are not good people and some are actually heinous and pure evil in their intentions and in their behavior. That is the reality.
To all the single guys, I can only say…take time to know her. She is not the only woman in the Philippines and she will not be the last woman in the Philippines, so no need to rush into something you have no realistic idea what you are getting into.
Men and Women alike, who use the internet for date chatting usually have more than one person lined up. Whoever arrives first with the most usually gets the prize…forever how long that may last. On both sides of the aisle!
Last but not least. I have posted about it and I have personally told foreigners about it many times. The most overlooked age group among women in the Philippines is 32-45. Many have realistic expectations about a potential relationship with a foreigner. They possess a level sense of maturity and they are not teenyboppers in their 20s. All women in this age group of 32-45 are not married and all do not have children. A number of them have long careers, own their own house or are buying their own house and they have a vehicle. Yes, they drive. They are not looking for a foreigner to feed their poor family. I know a number of Filipinas in their mid 30s to mid 40s who are down right beautiful. Even some in their 50s and on into their 60s! You can believe that!
I wish all the single folks the very best.
I hope to see you one day, somewhere…all around Bacolod.
~ Gary ~